In this installment of the Superiority Complex Sisterhood of Juvenile Rationale (SCSJR), I would like to talk a bit about emotional regulation. One of my favorite blogs, The Frisky, has recently become infiltrated by a hateful mob of insecure and angry commenters. One blogger has been the main target of this mass of unfounded rage, Jessica Wakeman. I feel a kinship towards her, because she is frequently (as of late) misunderstood, and attacked by those more feeble minded folk. The commenting became so nasty that the editor actually had to step in and post a plea for the commenters to keep their pants on, and act civil towards each other, and the bloggers. This is ridiculous. Adults who are unable to moderate their own behaviors without requiring intervention... Geez.
I would like to revisit the basic process of human interaction, as it relates to anger or differing of opinions:*Stimulus* - a statement has been made that you disagree with
Tolerance: Just because you disagree with someone, this does not invalidate their own opinion. Additionally, you are entitled to your own differing opinions.*Reaction* - I am offended by a statement this person has made
Emotional intelligence: You are likely feeling offended because the statement was regarding something that you may feel insecure about. You may be feeling personally attacked or insulted, but the author likely did not intend to target you or shame you.*Rationalizing* - I am not bad, you are bad
Projection: Feeling personally attacked, people then feel that they need to defend their own integrity. Compensating for your own perceived shortcoming, you rationalize that the perpetrator is a bad person. They must be very mean and angry. Their shortcomings are much worse than your own. This is a thought process known as projection, and it is very common. It is important to understand the difference between thought and emotion.
*Action* - destroy the enemy
Bullying vs Acceptance: In an attempt to validate your feelings of being wronged, you may attempt to insult the one who made you feel so insulted. This frequently involves hurling of expletives, personal attacks, and name calling. These actions only serve to diminish your claims of superior integrity. Instead, share your feelings. Its as simple as saying, "I disagree with you, and here's why".
Anger is inevitable. Rather than letting the anger control you, channel it towards something productive. If someone has made a statement that you disagree with, get some facts and present a rebuttal. Use the anger to your advantage, like me... Everything I do is fueled by anger; angry writing, angry talking, angry eating, angry masturbating, angry cat petting, angry drinking, angry sh*tting (OMG, you have no idea how much rage I endure while taking a dump).
I hope this was helpful. See ya later F*cktards.