Rabu, 25 Mei 2011

Scene Queens; Being A Fool Without Looking Like A Fool

      I don't know where to begin, so I guess I'll just begin with a few images of the ideal scene look:
     Take note of the over sized hair accessories, tutus, stuffed animals, and heavy makeup; these are valuable tools in the journey to become the perfect scene drone. 

   Bangs are extremely important to the scene look!  One huge benefit of the bangs is that it hides wrinkly foreheads.  Wrinkly foreheads are not cute!
Example of good scene bangs:
Spectacular.  Now, a warning to those who think I'm just exaggerating the importance of bangs:

Yeah, gross.  I wasn't kidding.  Luckily, we live in a world of second chances. 

 Here, you can see that I fixed one lucky gal's forehead problem:

 Much better, right?
  Another hurdle to pass when executing the perfect scene 'do is volume.  Extreme volume is one defining feature of the scene queen quaff.   Lack of volume often leads to a simply unflattering haircut. 
   A demonstration of ideal volume:
Okay, that was kind of an exaggeration.  Lets try this again:
Alright, that's much more reasonable.  Now, a couple of examples of serious volume deficiency:
  One of the main benefits of the excessive volume is to create the illusion of a larger head-to-body ratio, causing the body to look more petite. 
Below, is an example of unfortunate lack of volume combined with slight chubbiness (note: chubbiness is not a Scene Queen characteristic).

As you can see, the added volume makes her face look more cute, while making her body appear less large.  You're welcome.

Since Scene Queens tend to be teens, an inherent quality they have is being thin (although thinner than the average fat a$$ American, mind you):

They also enjoy posing in their underwear, in case you hadn't noticed.  
   One sure fire way to expose your lack of scene dedication is to be overweight.  Even an extra ten pounds automatically outs you as a poser (no pun intended):
 Is it me, or are they not quite pulling it off?

    Accessories are an important icing on the cake, if you will.  Additionally, cupcakes are a favored accessory of the scene queen.
     Over sized bows:
     Heavy makeup:
    Hello Kitty crap:
 Lip piercings:
 And finally, crippling desperation:

   Congratulations, you've just graduated from the school of How to Get Noticed, While Still Remaining Utterly Irrelevant.

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